So today, my boyfriend let slip that he and the “lads” have an exclusive Facebook group called “Women,” in which they discuss the actions, demands and shortcomings of their girlfriends and female friends. As if this wasn’t patronising and bitchy enough, they have now begun a discussion on who “the craziest woman” they know is. While my boyfriend assured me that I was never mentioned, he told me a few of the candidates for “craziest woman” - and they turned out to be some of my closest friends, apparently nominated for qualities including assertiveness, having strong opinions, getting sad after a breakup, and wanting to spend time with their boyfriends. What a shocker ladies and gentlemen, how demanding and outrageous these girls can be. How crazy we are for having feelings and minds.
Right now, I am reeling at this information. People say misogyny is dead, but I am seeing powerful, assertive women getting called crazy by a group of threatened little boys who, by default of this fucked up society, can belittle them into silence.
But the worst thing about it was that, at the time, I was so afraid of being labelled a “crazy woman” and bitched about in that group, that I said nothing. Honestly, the person who sickens me most here is me. I call myself a feminist, I cheer for female characters in books and on the tv, I tell my little sisters not to let any boy push them around - but when my own boyfriend stands there blithely chattering away about this misogynistic piece of shit facebook group, I smile in all the right places and say NOTHING.
So, if anyone has any advice or encouragement, it would be much appreciated. What I really want to do is talk to the girls so at least I’m not one lone female fighting a group of powerful boys - but would that be shit stirring? Has anyone else experienced anything similar? I’m just feeling so powerless and sad right now, because deep down I know that whatever I do, they’ll just be able to laugh it off and put me down again. It’s so unfair that I just wanna cry, I’m scared and I wish I wasn’t. Help?